more smudge

(top 2: "journeys on paper")

(bottom 2: "spontaneous word structure practice")

Some more pages. They're supposed to be two sets of two, seen side by side, but I have yet to figure out how to do that on blogger!

first clicks

(the most awesome cat ever)

(alli's bed, again.)

(first click)

Its true, its happening, I have now passed through the threshold into adulthood (or what I think it is). I am in a serious relationship. I made the sacrifice, I finally made up my mind and decided I could embrace him with all of his flaws....I bought a Canon 40D. And I finally feel like what could maybe one day adopt the label "real photographer". I shall always, always, love my film cameras and need them for play. But now I'm serious. What was I supposed to do when non-camera people asked me for photography favors? Say ugh yeah see Holgas and Polaroids and fisheyes and my iPhone camera are artsy...you just gotta embrace it? Nope. I gave in. But I love it. More power. More lenssssss....more depth of field. Its fabulous. I am excited to take it every every everywhere with me.

But I should probably get around to reading the manual. Tomorrow maybe. Or in 2010.

These above are some of my first plays with Gorgeous-new-camera-awaiting-name.

sequin sparkle gem

These are some photos of the holiday/CHRISTMAS display installation we did this year at the store. I say Christmas in caps because it pains me to cheerfully give customers the dry and empty politically correct phrase "Happy Holidays". Happy is so...ugh. There exists a wealth of thesaurus words that more aptly describe the season between Thanksgiving and New Years besides happy. Sigh.

Anyway, for two nights we worked to a combination of techno, Christmas, and my visuals mix, late into the night, installing the light curtain wall, calamity of ornaments and snowflakes, ice skates, and trees! It was so much fun and I very much hope that I can do more of these again!

still breathing

At this point of the year the earth seems to be dying. In Chicago, at least. The sun is forgotten for that greyish white cloud blanket sky that transforms trees into stark, barren silhouettes. Christmas comes and convinces us for December that this slush fest is really nostalgia wrapped up in a White Christmas. Ribbons and sparkle make winter winds bearable. But when you step outside the holiday cheer everything still seems dead. If I lived back as one of the first humans north of the equator and had never experienced winter I certainly would have thought that way.

But underneath the snow, slush, ice rain, whatever...I like to remember that everything is still breathing. Silently growing, underground, be it slowly...it still grows. Even though we can't see. Even though it seems like the sun has forgotten us.

I took these photos in April last spring, at midnight, after a freak random snowstorm that only stayed for a day or two before melting away. I like that they bring out the pulse of winter, give it a bit of breath, a bit of quieter neutral toned wonder.

pencil smudge

(front cover)

(inside left)

(inside right. the beginning...)

sketch/write/dream/draw book.
present edition. 5th? 10th? 23rd.

When I finally accepted that I could never, ever, be anything other than an artist, in whatever I do and wherever I go, I became more deeply ingrained in the practice of keeping a sketchbook. It is the best discipline I have for continuing my influences and ideas.

The place where I write and cross out and write and cross out.
Where I experiment with gold leaf and realize I may kind of hate it and thats okay
Where I figure out that sewing on paper is very very tedious
But that combining watercolor pencils and ink is something very promising
And revive words of dreamers long long dead in their graves
And collect ideas and forms of shells and sticks and greek goddesses and paint
And attempt to beautify my own small corner of the world.
That might sound cheesy, and emo, and dramatic.
But my sketchbook might just allow a bit of that, because, somewhere has to right?

Anyway, here are a few opening pages...hopefully I will get some more up soon!

woods, or, how I find myself sometimes

("mud puddle, or, mirror on the ground")

("canoe fleets, or, just around the river bend")

("the pit, or where I met Jesus")

("the drying tents, or, our coccoon")

("wood pile, or, by our hands")

I never fully, truly, deeply and physically understood the term "starving artist" until I became obsessed and addicted to film photography. It doesn't make any sense, but, 9 out of 10 times I would still rather develop a roll of film that may or may not have turned out than buy, say, food or a space heater or do my laundry.

It doesn't make sense.

But I can't do anything about it, nor, do I wish to. Photos like these just make me way too appreciative of the unpredictable way film has of capturing a moment.

I took these in June up at HoneyRock camp in the northwoods of Wisconsin. This place carries 9 summers of memory that seem to come about in the wind, or, the snap of twigs, or, song of the loon on the lake in the morning.

I think the film is Fuji, I took them with a Holga.

gulf of mexico

I am not very good at remembering to scan film photographs and too cheap to have a photo cd made when i develop my film. It really turns out to be a great combination. Hence, my photos for today are from spring break back in march! This is their first introduction to the world from a growing pile of lomography experiments that collects about my room. I used a disposable underwater camera from Walgreens. I am still trying to recover ones the Walgreens Photo People didn't print because of over exposure....sigh, they just don't understand.

delectable

I stumbled upon this Chicago artist as I was on the School of the Art Institute Admissions site, whilst attempting to settle my life with a large continuing education decision. Which has been postponed, for good reasons. Good reasons being that I didn't have a certain deep down enough reason to decide a hundred grand away to my future all for the peace of mind that I could say I was on my way to being "successful" and "practical"....two words whose meanings have quite blurry edges.

Anyway, this girl, Rachel Pollak, is awesome. I want her degrees. Masters of Arts and Religion from Yale and Masters of Fine Arts from SAIC? Woah.

I want to print make with purpose, subtle beautiful purpose, purpose that is exclaimed through perfect ink edges and tiny lines and strong lines and stippling and texture. I like that I can see a bit of that in this.

These two are from her series, "Delectable Mountains".

where i wish i was

photos by autumn de wilde

Home: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes

Home

...okay so I actually am home right now. But with a cold. Wishing I could see this band live in the city! Or running around the countryside with this band, playing my mandolin that I don't and probably never will play, braiding sunflowers into my hair that is barely long enough for a short stub ponytail, feeling nostalgic about a southern carefree rustic childhood I never had but still somehow feel connected to. Thats the funny thing about nostalgia.

Take antique stores and antiquing. People, myself included, buy old things because they want to feel a connection. To what? It varies. But it is interesting to me how sentiments of nostalgia and yearning for history surface and compel me to fill my room with stacks of old books, jars, photographs of people I never knew, frames from a time I never lived in. Its like pretending I had memories I never had or something. Whatever it is, I love objects from the past, and love that objects carry with them stories and history and context and love, war, peace, growth, tears, joy, relationships...all in a little insignificant object.

I love insignificant objects. Because in the small object can be such a world of unrecognized truth and beauty! Not everyone sees this. Or claims it as important. But its a lens I can't shake, just as I can't shake the treasure hunter's magnetic pull towards rummage and estate sales.

the goodness of muffins

I am getting kind of into baking muffins. As one who has on more than one account wailed "I'm a domestic failure" while trying to fix a kitchen mishap, this is a pretty progressive step. For October, I mastered Pumpkin Chocolate Chip muffins (Betty Crocker's recipe, tweaked a bit), after a few failed attempts. For November, I choose these Coffee Walnut Chocolate Chip Muffins! They are absolutely amazing and the espresso adds the perfect amount of sweetness. My sister found this recipe on TasteSpotting, a blog that encourages my cooking by showcasing tantalizing food photography and giving you the recipes! It makes me say "I wanna eat that" and then....viola! Also, I highly recommend using Ghiradelli chocolate chips!

COFFEE WALNUT CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFINS
from The Frog Commissary Cookbook

• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 3 tablespoons instant coffee
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 2/3 cup milk
• 1 3/4 cup flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 3/4 cup chocolate chips
• 1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts

1. Preheat oven to 350 and grease/flour a 12-muffin tin.

2. Cream butter with sugars, coffee and vanilla.

3. Beat together eggs and milk.

3. Combine flour, salt and baking powder. Alternately add the wet and dry ingredients to the butter mixture until just combined.

4. Add chips and walnuts. Divide among muffin tins, filling until almost full.

5. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

6. Cool 5 minutes and then remove from tin and cool on racks.

7. Enjoy!!

shake it

Over the past 24 hours I have discovered something so amazing that it has almost helped me get over the death of Polaroid. Almost. Almost in the way that I still am not over Marshall Fields becoming Macys on State Street and will forever complain about it and refuse to give Macys my business.

So in the spirit of embracing change and technology, I have become addicted to the iPhone app Shakeit. Which is actually quite economical considering my Polaroid addiction nearly made me go broke, and this one only cost me the equivalent of 1/4 a white mocha at Starbucks.

Shakeit polaroid-izes your iPhone photos. It makes them square and gives them a little digital white border and ups the contrast but not in the annoying "I iPhotoed my spring break and now we are all really tan and bright" way you know? It smooths the big patches of colors and gradates and texturizes in mmmm.....all the ways a Polaroid does. Almost at least. Enough at least : )

all is fleeting, but all is good

#91.3 Noah and the Whale - Episode 3
by lablogotheque">


La Blogotheque take away shows are one of my favorites because they combine gorgeous music, talented musicians, artful filming and the spontaneity of human nature in one short film. Musicians play in streets, apartments, alleyways, and parks and whatever happens, whoever happens to stop, listen, and interact, is kept part of the experience. I am absolutely in love with them!

Here is one from one of my new favorite bands, Noah and the Whale. I love the colorful and youthful way they play in Paris elevators and streets.

They also recently released a film for their song, The First Days of Spring. Check it out, its beautiful!

"blue skies are calling
blue skies are coming
but i know that its hard"

"

The First Days of Spring Official Trailer from charlie fink on Vimeo.

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hello, brave world

("eggs", etching, 2009).

"creating a work of art is in effect the setting up of a world...in terms of truth...providing a space to dwell" (Heidegger)

Of most things I am unsure:
Probably makes sense since I am an F, feeling, on the Myers-Briggs test.
Of the blog world I am very unsure. It seems everyone's blogs that I read have intent, purpose, a well rounded and focused image, and seem like they have it all together. But then again, thats how we view "everyone else" in the material people non-web non-texting present reality, and, at least in that world, everyone doesn't have it together. So no longer shall I be shy of starting a blog post such as I am not shy of starting a conversation!

Of this I am sure:
I love beauty. And stuff. And the "marrow of life" as Walden calls it.
I make a lot of art. But it is everywhere. Physically. It lives on borders of post-its or collaged cards or on sketchbook pages or on my walls or on my floor. Sometimes it gets deconstructed and reconstructed into something new. I want a way to share and receive criticism and a way to organize all of my favorite places on the web. The web, to whom, I as a charcoal-on-my-hands artist am trying to fit into my materials based work. So here it goes...